Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
