She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
