is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my poor anus
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
