i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
