i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize