woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
