Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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