I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
