I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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