:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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