I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We got so high we made milksteak
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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