hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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