no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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