I feel like abortions should bother me more
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
