Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
