my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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