She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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