idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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