We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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