her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
