Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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