I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize