i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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