i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
