Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
