i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
