So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
