just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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