And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
