she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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