just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
