is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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