A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
