Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
