i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I've blown a few things in my day
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
