Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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