Porn is love you can see.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
