I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
