I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My life is pants optional.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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