that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize