It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
