He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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