i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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