I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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