Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
