Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
