Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize