my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
