I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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