you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
