He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize