just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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