am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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