I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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