This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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