I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
