Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
