don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
