He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
