so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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