Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
not ubering you a puppy
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
