So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
