So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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