She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
