I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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