you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize