I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
